I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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