My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
