Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize