i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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