Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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