I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
