There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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