I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
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