Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
