Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
