so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
