i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
