just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Randomize
