you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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