he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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