Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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