escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
