If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
