You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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