After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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