i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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