I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
