Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
