no, he came in my armpit
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize