it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
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