the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
