I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
