is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
