4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Screwed.edu
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
