so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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