Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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