you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize