I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
now i know why i became what i already was.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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