do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
