I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
