On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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