Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Randomize
