I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
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