There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Randomize
