You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
