U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
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