You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize