Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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