Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize