all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
