What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize