I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I checked into jail on foursquare
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
