i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
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