What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
