I wanna bring you to show and tell
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I party with great urgency now.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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