No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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