We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Randomize
