That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
