yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
