I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
