Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
