do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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