you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
