Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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