this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
