You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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