After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
