ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
