areolas are like halos for boobs.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
wow bdsm is so cute
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
