Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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