so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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