Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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